Fathers & Sons Working Together

Expectations can be an ugly thing between fathers and sons.

There was a time when you did what your dad expected you to do, whether you liked it or not. That approach may have worked for some, but created rebellion in others. Over the last generation the world changed a lot as has the connection between a dad passing along his profession to his son. Technology may have replaced the need for some closely held father/son family businesses, but broken relationships, poor communication and the power struggle over releasing control to the next generation of leadership has likely killed way more father/son operations than all the low budget call centers in India combined.

The key elements behind these changes to father/son businesses are:

Bill Gates daddy didn't make microchips-
Today's culture often rewards the entrepreneur who launches out to break new ground more than those sticking close to home to follow in a fathers footprints.

The cat really was in the cradle too long-
Some dads were too busy to teach their trade because they were working 80 hours a week to keep the doors open and the wolf away from the door.

'It's a Wonderful Life' is a movie, not a family business training film-
Others resented the family business being 'forced on them' so they served silently and grew in bitterness, while others did the opposite of their dads and pushed their sons in another direction without any guidance at all.

(Note: for an interesting side bar of how long this has been an underlying pressure in our culture-consider the classic Christmas movie, "It's a Wonderful Life" Where Jimmy Stewart resents having to stay behind and care for the family business while his brother leaves town to pursue a military career. In the movie you can put a happy ending on a grown son's desperate situation by ringing a bell for an angel who gets his wings saving him. In real life it's a lot harder because it often leads to the hard choice of protecting the father/son relationship, or preserving the profitability of the business.)